This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
