Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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