your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
