Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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