The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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