2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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