i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
