i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
