that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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