I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
