im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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