Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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