I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
