all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
