dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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