it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
