i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
