His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
