She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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