i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
