Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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