think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
