It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
