i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
