i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
