I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
