i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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