Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
