I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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