me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
