.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
