you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize