Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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