no, he came in my armpit
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
