matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You can't just leave with hair like that
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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