im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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