I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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