She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
