your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
