If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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