you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
