I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
