he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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