I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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