You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this will be a night to untag.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
