i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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