I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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