i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
