My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
