Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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