dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize