How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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