i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
