so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize