i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
