Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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