So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize