OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
