just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
