he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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