I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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